The Human Centipede: First Sequence (2009)

This movie sure exists. I don't really know how address The Human Centipede. I guess it superficially fits the mold of the best horror films, and falls in line with body horror classics but it doesn't really do anything with it. It sets itself up almost like a post-9/11 Videodrome in a way and if you wanted to stretch the film to the point of breaking it could sort of make a salient point about media consumption but I don't want to stretch the film. I don't want to force irony into where it clearly does not belong. To be honest, I'm not sure Tom Six is physically capable of making a salient point about media consumption. I'm not sure Tom Six understands why Croenenberg is a genius or why body horror is an effective genre. I'm not sure Tom Six is actually a director, let alone a human being, and not some kind of physical manifestation of misogyny and xenophobia. In fact, I'm sure that Tom Six, if he does truly exist, just got kinda high and said "Wouldn't it be hilarious if you like shat into a chicks mouth? Oh, and she is sewn to your butt so she can't complain. We could make it a horror movie. I watched Scream, I can do that."