Final Destination (2000)

What I Knew:
Well, I decided that after like two month or whatever of watching 80s slasher films I wanted to bring something from this millennium. Jason X doesn't count. I've seen this movie before and am familiar with the basic plot: Kid escapes plane crash, death seeks revenge. I've also seen Final Destination 2 which I remember being a lot better if only because it was a lot gorier. I'm terrified im going to end up comparing this unfavorably to Friday the Thirteenth, but i guess if i do, who cares? Its just Final Destination.
What I Got:
Alex is getting ready for his senior class trip to Paris. At the airport, we meet some of Alex's classmates. He has some premonitions about death that seem really stupid. He has a lot of premonitions that are all really stupid. He gets on the plane and starts freaking out. He trades seats with these girls and then his tray table breaks. After the shortest runway delay in the history of airports, they take off. His friend Todd is really annoying. There is some turbulence and he freaks out a little more. There is some more turbulence and the entire plane starts freaking out. The oxygen masks drop and the plane is tailspinning. An engine blows, dragging half the cabin wall with it. People are getting sucked through the breach and eventually the plane explodes. But it turns out its all a dream.
He's still on the plane and the girls just asked him whether he would trade seats. He freaks out because he just saw everyone die. They drag him off the plane along with a guy who tried to beat him up for freaking out, that guy's girlfriend, Todd, a weird girl, Seann William Scott, and a female teacher. They all start fighting because they missed the flight. The plane blows up out the window and shatters a bunch of glass. Alex was right after all and he saved all of their lives. His other classmates however, all dead.
Everyone thinks he's a witch except for the weird girl, who i suspect is a witch. Some FBI agents come and interrogate them. They think Alex was on drugs. The weird girl, Claire, says she got off the plane because she believed Alex's insane screaming.
Everyone's parents arrive at the airport except Claire's. Alex's parents give her a ride home. The news says that there were no survivors. All 287 passengers assumed dead. Lightning strikes his lawn outside his house.
A month later at a remembrance ceremony, they unveil a big ol eagle statue. People walk up and put roses on it. The guy who fought him tells him that he's never going to die. Seann William Scott's character Billy tells Alex that he passed his driver's test and asks Alex whether he's going to die and whether he's going to get rejected by a girl because he thinks Alex is a psychic. The teacher, Ms. Lootman i think, says Alex scares her. Todd hasnt talked to Alex in a long while because his dad hates Alex for not saving his other son. Claire gives Alex a rose and a photographer takes a picture of it. Todd reads a poem about death.
That night Todd looks at himself in the mirror. A light breeze blows through the window. He closes it and the breeze continues to blow. The breeze shuts the door on him. Todd sits on the toilet and the breeze starts to make a valve leak.
Meanwhile Alex is obsessively studying plane crashes, searching for meaning as a way to cope with such a senseless act. He then pulls out an issue of Penthouse, another way to cope I guess.
Back at Todd's house, he cuts himself shaving. The leaking water creeps towards him as a black, shadowy mass grows behind him. He starts plucking his nose hair as the water gets closer. He plugs in a radio, which starts playing a John Denver song, so he unplugs it. The outlet sparks.
Alex is looking listlessly at his Penthouse when an owl flies into his window. He throws the Penthouse at it. The magazine lands in a fan which shreds its pages. A piece that says "TOD" lands on his lap.
Todd is looking at underwear hanging on a clotheslines in his bathtub.  The water is creeping closer. He slips, snagging his neck on the clothesline. It snaps and starts to strangle him. He reaches for his nose hair scissors but the more he struggles the more the line tightens. He fights to get to his feet, but finds no traction in the tub. He succumbs to the grave as the water retreats back into the valve.
Alex is jogging to Todd's house when he sees the coroner's van and a bunch of police cars. Claire is there too. Todd's parents think Todd killed himself because of Alex. Alex knows thats crazy. The FBI agents investigating Alex look at him curiously. Claire has disappeared.
In the daytime, Alex looks at a maple leaf. He is at Claire's house, asking her why she was at Todd's house. She tells him why the FBI agents were there. He asks her again why she was there. She shows him some art, a depiction of him. She says that she is emotionally linked to him and felt his vision. She thinks there's still an emotional bond between them and that she knows that Alex is still having premonitions. Alex tells her his theory that there's something after all the kids who got off the plane.
They sneak into a funeral home to ogle Todd's corpse. Todd's arm moves. A guy shows up. The guy tells them that he's still spasming. He tells Alex that Todd did not kill himself, but there is no accidents in death, and no escape from death. I think this guy might actually be Death. He tells Alex that he cheated death once and that death is coming for him and everyone else who survived. The guy tells Alex not to "fuck with that mac daddy," meaning the grim reaper.
Alex tells Claire at a coffee shop about the butterfly effect and what it has to do with Todd's death. He shows her his scrap of paper. She says he's crazy. He has a vision of a bus in a window reflection. Carter and his girlfriend are driving by, listening to Nine Inch Nails. Claire tells Alex that she doesn't believe him. Billy is riding his bike nearby too. Carter hits a u-ie and knocks Billy off his bike. He hops out and goes to confront Alex. Mrs. Luten is there too. Carter's girlfriend is the voice of reason. She then gets hit by a bus and everyone gets covered with blood.
Everyone drinks some alka-seltzer. Claire calls Alex but he ignores her call. He has somethings he has to understand before he can talk to her. The news report shows a seating chart that shows the path of the explosion. Everyone is dying in order. Ms. Lewton is next.
Ms. Lewton is having a breakdown. She is blaming herself for the kids' death. She calls the FBI because Alex is chillin outside her house making sure she doesnt die. Alex is inspecting her car. The agents show up and he tells them the truth about why he's there but they take him into custody.
A light breeze enters Ms. Lewton's house. Down at the station, Alex is telling the FBI about the pattern. Ms. Lewton digs out an old record, her mom's favorite John Denver compilation. Alex tells the FBI that he's going to break the pattern. Ms. Lewton sees the same dark, shadowy figure that Todd saw. She starts to make some tea. Her gas stove's ignition goes out but the gas keeps running. She lights a match to relight it, and it relights safely. The FBI thinks Alex is killing off people. The tea is done and Ms. Lewton pours herself a mug. She freaks out and throws the tea on the ground. She then starts filling the mug with vodka and ice. The mug cracks and vodka slowly starts leaking from it. She sets the mug on top of her computer monitor where it pours down into the electronics causing it to short and smoke. It explodes, a shard of glass from the screen stabs her in the throat. She slips on her blood and makes her record slip. Her computer ignites the spilled vodka which then lights her entire kitchen on fire. Ms. Lewton tugs at a towel but the towel is attached to some kitchen knives which topple and kill her. Alex runs in, trying to save her, when the oven explodes and
Alex's footprints and fingerprints end up in Ms. Lewton's house. Billy sees Alex escape right before it explodes.
That night Carter tries to run Billy over by the eagle memorial. Claire shows up there too. Carter is carving his girlfriend's name into the wall. Apparently Claire invited the two of them to the statue so they could see Alex and find out who's next. They drive to the city. Carter has terrible taste in music.
They end up at the crash site and start searching for Alex. He is just sitting on the beach, contemplating crazy things. Claire tells Alex that her parents died, her dad in a botched robbery and her mother abandoned her. Claire believes the afterlife is just like this life except everyone has a second chance.
They all start driving to Claire's cabin. Alex reveals to them that he knows the pattern. Billy is concerned about football. Carter resigns to death and starts speeding and running stop signs. Everyone tries to talk Carter out of killing them all. Alex has a premonition about the seatbelt breaking. Alex has a premonition of a train hitting them. Carter stops on the train tracks as a train approaches. Everyone runs except for Carter. They try to talk him out of letting himself get hit by a train. He decides to go but his car wont start. The black shadow locks Carter's doors. Alex cuts his seatbelt and drags him to safety as the train slams into the car. A sheet of sheet metal breaks off the car. Billy is screaming at Carter about how he's next when a the sheet metal decapitates him. Gross. This breaks the pattern and Alex realizes how he can cheat death. He believes he's saved Carter permanently.
Claire and Alex hide out in her father's cabin and start childproofing it. Alex has a very safe way of eating food: Only Tuna. A very tense scene where he eats the tuna occurs. The breeze blows into the cabin and Death knocks over his trash bag, making a can of tuna hit a fishing pole that opens a door. Death tries to kill him via tetanus but Alex is having none of it.
Back at home, Claire looks at pictures of her father and decides to turn Alex in. Alex figures out that Claire is actually the one who is next, not him. A thunderstorm starts causing havoc at Claire's. The police show up at the cabin and Alex starts canoeing across a lake. Claire lights a candle because the power is out. She is afraid her dog is going to get electrocuted while the black shadow makes its way toward her, blowing the candle out. The police are right on Alex's tail as he gets out of the canoe on the other side of the lake. They manhunt through the woods as Claire tries to save her dog. A big metal thing stabs itself into a pool.
Alex falls down a hill and almost impales himself on a spikey stick.  The pool breaks, leaving Claire in a puddle of water. The powerline falls into the water but she manages to narrowly escape to the safety of her porch lattice. A tree falls on Alex, trapping him facedown in a puddle. Claire tries to climb to her bedroom window but her gutters aren't safe. Alex manages to fight his way out of the puddle as Claire slowly powers her way up, breaking the window and climbing into her house. All her electric things are exploding as she gets in her car. The powerline is trying to bash its way through the garage door. The garage door opener falls and traps her car there. A can of turpentine falls. The powerline falls on the car, killing its alternator. Alex arrives and tells her that as long as she doesnt touch anything she's safe.
I swear this movie exists just to make it difficult for me to liveblog it. Alex tries to hit the power line off of Claire's car using a shovel but the shovel flies out of his hands and hits a fire extinguisher. The fire extinguisher activates and flies under Claire's car. A thing falls and ignites the turpentine which is flowing in a line directly to the fire extinguisher. Alex tells Claire the car's going to explode. Alex is going to kill himself so death skips Claire.  He grabs the power line and Clare jumps out. The car explodes, knocking Alex loose of the electricity. He's not breathing.
Six months later, a plane lands in France. on board is Carter, Claire, AND ALEX. They finally flew to France, now that death is off their back. Eating dinner in a cafe, they share a beer in the memory of their fallen friends. They're going to live a full life now but Alex is still obsessing over the design. Alex hears someone sing a John Denver song and starts to notice things going wrong. Alex is positive he is next now. Claire has a vision of a bus hitting Alex and she calls out to him.He stops short and bus narrowly misses, although it slams into a big neon sign. The sign swings free and heads down to kill Alex, but Carter tackles him. The design has circled around though and the sign slams into Carter, killing him and ending the movie.
How I Felt
Its a refreshing change of pace from 80s slasher movies I think. The pacing is good, the plot, nonsensical as it is, is still internally consistent, cool stuff happens. I think its kind of sad that all that makes a movie good for me after watching the Friday films is internal consistency and a pacing good enough to keep my attention. Jason has slashed my standards.
Sequel
2, 3, and The are left. I've seen 2 but seeing as a ton of stuff that i thought happened in 2 (the clothesline, the knives, the decapitation) happened in 1, i don't think i remember it very clearly. I've been meaning to watch 3 and The for a little while now, seems like now is as good a time as any right.